Disconsolate
by SilverHeart09
Summary: The team are left broken after being captured and tortured by Thanos. But help can often come from the most unexpected of places and when you have someone like Pepper Potts living with you, giving up is not an option. One-shot. Rated for mentions of torture.


_Not sure where this story came from, the dark recesses of my mind or somewhere :) This is only a quick one-shot, all is explained._

_I hope you enjoy and please review! They are like cookies and rainbows :)_

* * *

She's in a meeting.

It's dull, but important, like the majority of them are and Pepper is sat in her favourite spot in the room (in the comfy chair by the window and beneath the AC unit) with a hot cup of coffee in her hand and the sales projections for the past quarter up on the VirtualScreen in front of her. They're good figures, the board is happy, accounting is happy, the line managers are happy, but not her. She is not happy.

She blows her top at a question, only a little question, one that has been asked many times, especially after… well, after the 'incident' as Bruce was calling it. Tony called it something else, but it was longer and had a great deal more swear words in it.

The question is this:

'How are they all doing?'

And she starts crying in the meeting room. Luckily, the meeting is over at this point and the staff are piling out the room so don't see her indiscretion. Also luckily, the person who asked her the question is her assistant, very calm, very capable, and perfect in a crisis.

There's a reason Pepper hired her, after all.

So she doesn't protest when Molly gently takes her arm and leads her into her office that adjourns the meeting room and sits her on the sofa and closes and locks the door and hands her a box of tissues, then sits there next to her with a hand on her back while she cries it out.

They aren't doing well, they're not okay, and she doesn't know what to do.

It's been a month since the 'incident', and none of them have been able to be in the same room as each other in that time span. She sees Tony, of course, and occasionally she spies Clint up in the vent or Steve down in the gym beating the crap out of a punch bag, but none of them have spoken to each other, or been able to look each other in the eye.

They're not a team any more, they're broken, torn up, ripped to pieces.

She tells the press that they're 'fine', because she doesn't know what else to say. But they aren't, they so aren't and the press knows it. None of them have been seen out and about in a month, the National Bank was robbed and the city's superhero team didn't show up. They know she's lying, know she's covering something up. She sobs this out to Molly in amongst her tears because she's only human and the _stress, _she has to tell someone and Molly gently ssh's her and gets her to calm down enough to wipe her ruined mascara off her face and get her some tissues. Then she tells her boss that she will go to that afternoon's meetings for her so the CEO can go upstairs and spend some time with her boyfriend.

And Pepper is _so glad. _Ever since the 'incident' the press and the board of directors have been on her back and she's been trying to get them off and hold them at bay so they don't start scaling the sides of the building and climbing in through the windows but to do that, she has to pretend to be the world's best CEO, attentive, powerful, calm, so the press don't notice the bags under her eyes from nights with no sleep, the way her shoulders droop as if in defeat when no-one is watching her. She doesn't smile any more, hasn't smiled in a while, she doesn't have a reason too. But she has to be strong, for the Avengers, for her friends, her family.

For Tony.

Molly walks her to their private elevator to make sure she doesn't get accosted on the way and when she reaches their floor Pepper heads straight for the bedroom, the only place Tony will be, the place he's been for the past month.

When she sees him, curled up in a ball, the TV on and playing _Supernatural, _a pillow clutched tightly to his chest that she just _knows _he is substituting for her, his body thin and weary, his hair that little bit _too _long, she bursts into tears.

Tony, contrary to popular belief, isn't a complete jerk. The second he hears her crying he pushes himself up, fights the head rush that comes with it, and pulls her to him, wrapping his too-thin arms around her and allowing her to bury her head in his shoulder and sob.

'I'm sorry,' he whispers to her, because he knows it's his fault that the woman he loves _so much _is in this state. 'I'm sorry.'

That evening, they face the same problem they've faced for the past month. It's dinner time, and Tony can't eat.

It's not that he doesn't _want _to eat, he does, he is so hungry, but he can't, he can't keep food down. The second it touches his stomach, bleurgh, up it comes. And he _really _doesn't want to have an NG tube shoved up his nose thankyouverymuch, so he tries; he tries for her, for the one thing he can't live without.

But nothing stays down.

They're in the kitchen alone, no Avengers in here, there hasn't been for four weeks. Pepper has to check daily with JARVIS to ensure that they're even still alive.

They are, apparently, and according to JARVIS they are 'coping'.

Pepper has made Tony's favourite, her magical beef stew. She's cut up a bread roll as well to dip into the stew and the two of them are sat at the kitchen island with two steaming bowls in front of them. By the time Pepper has finished her bowl, Tony has eaten about four bites.

This is how he eats now. The food won't stay in his stomach so Tony has to eat slowly, carefully, tiny portions of food that aren't even bite-sized and don't fill him up, so he is always hungry. Whenever he tries to eat a big spoonful (and he does, occasionally, to 'test' the theory that his stomach can no longer handle food) he has his head over the toilet chucking it back up in seconds.

He does, however, manage to eat about half the bowl of stew before he starts feeling too exhausted to even sit upright. Pepper makes him drink a glass of water and helps him walk back to their bedroom. They both fall on the bed together and Tony is asleep in a matter of seconds. Pepper doesn't move, she doesn't get up and do her normal going-to-bed routine, changing her clothes, removing her make-up, brushing her teeth, all that jazz, because that will disturb Tony's sleep and he _needs _to sleep. She does too, so she curls her legs around his and shifts his head carefully so he's lying on her collarbone and starts to drift off.

Tony wakes up screaming four hours later, drenched in sweat, eyes wide and terrified, hands out in front of him pushing at foes only he can see, then he's bent over the toilet and throwing up the meagre contents he has in his stomach.

An hour later, he's too frightened to go back to sleep but knows his girlfriend needs it so he's sat up against the headboard with Pepper in his arms, rocking her gently as she clutches at his shirt in her sleep, brow furrowed, mouth drawn down into a frown, and he thinks for a second that maybe it would be a good idea to go to her for help, she did offer after all.

He isn't talking about Pepper.

**XxXxXxX**

_He doesn't see her when she bursts into the room, he hears a commotion, shouting, yelling, the sound of something heavy hitting the floor but he doesn't open his eyes, he can't open his eyes. _

_There is pain everywhere, in his belly, in his head, shooting down his arms and legs, making him shake and groan and cry out. He can taste his own blood in his mouth and can feel it running down his body. The skin on his wrists and ankles are crying out for mercy after being kept in shackles for far too long. Every breath he takes he hopes will be his last because he just hurts so much, but he can't pass out, whatever they've done to him, whatever they've got him on, he is completely theirs, bound to their will. Constant agony, 24/7._

_No wonder he wants to die._

_Then there are cool hands on either side of his face and he can hear someone calling his name and he thinks, hopes, and prays that it's Pepper. But half of him doesn't want it to be Pepper, doesn't want her to see the state he's in but he needs her so much so with a huge amount of effort and oh so much pain he manages to crack open one eye._

_He can't see well, his vision is blurred and the area around the eye is so swollen that everything is out of focus and dull. But he knows the person in front of him isn't Pepper, he captures a glimpse of dark hair and familiar green eyes._

_Not Pepper._

_He can hear words, soft, calm words that certainly aren't English and they are the best words because he can feel the pain disappearing, can feel his skin start to repair itself. The shackles on his wrists and ankles are removed but he hardly notices. His brain is going into shutdown mode, finally he can sleep._

_So he does, and his dreams are haunted by those green eyes._

**XxXxXxX**

Her name is Hela, he finds out later, and she is Loki's daughter, explaining why he recognised her eyes.

He also finds out that she is the Goddess of Death and the ruler of the realm known as Helheim, the underworld, which is where he wakes up in a warm cosy room on a soft mattress with a fluffy blanket pulled up to his chin. She assures him that he isn't dead, and that she will return him to his home as soon as she decides he is well enough.

He asks where his teammates are and she assures him they are safe, she assures him that her men got them all out and that they are all recovering, but still, he doesn't feel right. He feels… off, not himself…

Broken

Hela tells him that she sent her enormous pet hellhound on a scouting mission after hearing from one of her spies on Midgard that Earth's Mightiest Heroes are missing. The hellhound finds them flouting on an asteroid that serves as the Chitauri's home world, being tortured and brutally beaten by Thanos. It came running back to Helheim to tell his mistress and she immediately rallied together a group of men, lost souls that yearned for a chance to prove themselves so they could be accepted into Valhalla to rescue them and bring them home.

Hela made sure that all of those brave souls got their wish.

Hela is nothing like her father, Tony realises. Certainly, she reminds him of the God of Mischief, she has some of his mannerisms and bosses everyone about like she rules the place (which she does, thinking about it), but Hela is, in a way, kind. She takes care of the souls that she protects, allowing them to rest in peace after their lives.

When Tony asks them _why, _exactly, she rescued them, Hela's face turns dark and she says quietly that Thanos would have kept them alive and allowed them to suffer in unbearable torment for the rest of eternity.

Tony doesn't remember what happens next, but he wakes up on the ground with his head in Hela's lap and soft, cool water on his tongue.

Finally though, the time comes when Hela decides that her guests are well enough to go home so she assembles the Avengers in the great hall to send them back to Earth.

None of them can meet the other's eyes.

Tony had longed to see them for the short while he was under Hela's care, he wanted to know that everyone was safe and okay, but they're not, none of them are okay and now, stood in a line waiting for Hela to open a portal and send them back, none of them are looking at each other, they are all staring resolutely at the ground. Natasha's fingers ghost over his and Tony catches her fingertips in his hand and squeezes lightly to show… something, anything, support? Worry? Comradeship? All of the above? But then there is a bright light and he's stood in his living room and Pepper is suddenly _there _and she's hugging him and kissing him and crying and all of the Avengers, his teammates, are disappearing to places unknown in the building.

That was four weeks ago and he hasn't seen them since. JARVIS confirms that they're still in the building and he _thinks _he may have seen Clint's face peering down at his from the air vent during that first week but he isn't sure.

The food problem thing started the day after he returned when Pepper made him some toast. He took one big bite of it and was racing to the toilet the second it landed in his stomach. Since then, he'd lost weight and muscle mass and was a ghost of his former self. When Pepper asked him if he knew why he couldn't keep food down he was suddenly thrust back into that nightmare and Thanos had him on his back and was slicing open his belly and _oh god pain everywhere pain _and then there was a sharp pain across his face and when he came too Pepper was sat in front of him with tears pouring down her cheeks, her hand still raised from where she'd slapped him to bring him out of it.

**XxXxXxX**

_She'd asked him if he was excited about returning to Midgard and he'd replied that he was looking forward to seeing Pepper again. Hela had told him that if he needed anything all he had to do was ask. She'd given him a small black stone on a necklace and had told him that all he had to do was rub it in his palm and she would be there._

_Hela was kind; she helped people because that's what she was good at and that's what she wanted. The souls that rested in Helheim were happy and contented, always passing out a cheerful 'Hello' to each other as they passed by in the gardens._

_Tony had thought that the Goddess of Death would have a realm like in Disney's version of the underworld in _Hercules. _But he was wrong, Hela's realm was wonderful, beautiful even, a true paradise. He'd told Pepper about it and she'd asked him to describe it for her, but he hadn't been able too. He'd told her to picture the most beautiful place she'd ever been too and then times it by a million; but she was still nowhere close to how lovely the place had been._

_Thor came by one morning to check up on them. He'd been on Asgard when New York had been attacked and had missed the entire thing. He didn't even know his team was in trouble until he came back to the tower one evening and found Pepper sat alone on the sofa watching the news, face white as a sheet, a tissue between her fingers. She'd told him what had happened, how the last few Chitauri had come back to make the people of New York pay, how the Avengers had assembled to protect the city, how Thanos had… had…_

_Pepper couldn't finish her sentence, the tears were choking her voice too much but Thor understood what she was trying to say._

_Thanos had his friends._

_He couldn't find the Chitauri's home world, or Thanos, and Odin refused to allow him to assemble an army to find the Avengers. It wasn't until he'd gone to visit the cells to plead with his brother to help him find them that Loki had told him that Hela had been round to see him the day before and had told him what had happened, how she'd saved them. _

_Hela didn't want Thor coming into her realm, she didn't just hate him, she despised him. That was a family row that Tony desperately wanted to know the story behind, something had happened at some point in their history that made Hela loathe her uncle. He'd suspected that it was because Thor hadn't broken Loki out of Asgard's prison, but if Hela held resentment over that then why would she have helped them? The very people that put him there?_

_According to Hela, Agent Barton had changed her mind when he heard him grumbling about it as she dressed his bandages one morning. Thor had been happy to see them, but his face was full of worry and shame at not being able to find them sooner and save them. _

**XxXxXxX**

Thor had been to see them once or twice during the month where they were making it their mission to avoid each other. He'd worried over Tony and the amount of weight that he'd lost and had clasped Pepper's hand and promised that Thanos would be hunted down and brought to justice for the pain and hurt that he had caused among his friends. He apologised to Tony for not being able to stay, saying that what Thanos had done was an act of war, and he had to ensure that, should it come to it, the realms were ready to do battle and defend themselves.

Tony had asked after his teammates, wanting to know where they were and why they were hiding themselves away from the world. Thor had told him that while Natasha appeared well; she jumped at the slightest noise and would throw herself across the room to land in a defensive crouch. She was paler than usual as she hadn't been out in the sun, instead drawing the curtains across her windows so none of the sun's rays could reach her room and sitting in the dark reading or watching films.

Clint was apparently almost always in the air vents, and when Tony had asked if the archer had mentioned looking down on him through the vent in the ceiling, Thor had replied that Clint had apparently checked up on all of his teammates once they'd got back to Earth to ensure that they were all safe and okay, so he could confine himself to the vents in solitude.

Steve was always in the gym destroying various pieces of equipment and had also added many more pictures to his sketchbook. He seemed okay-ish, but jumpy like Natasha and was staying away from windows or mirrors, anything with a reflective surface.

Bruce was always working in his room on his laptop, tap tap tapping away at the keyboard, solving life's mysteries or meditating, sat in a corner of his room with his legs crossed allowing his mind to go completely blank as he tried to get his body to relax. Bruce had told Thor that the Other Guy was more subdued than normal, not trying to get out as much, instead holding back and allowing Bruce to be completely in charge, which was a new thing, apparently.

Tony was desperately worried about his teammates, which was odd as he didn't remember being worried about anyone else in his life, apart from that time when Obadiah had tried to kill Pepper and she'd almost got blown up by Vanko's robots. And one occasion at MIT where Rhodey had got completely plastered and had collided with a brick wall very very hard.

All this, Tony contemplated as he lay in his bed with his girlfriend sleeping peacefully in his arms as the sun rose over New York outside his window. She was heavier than normal, and Tony could feel his muscles straining as he supported her, and he felt tears forming in his eyes because the day he was too weak to hold Pepper would be the day that life became meaningless.

He needed help. Tony was headstrong and stubborn and occasionally selfish but he needed help, he wasn't too stupid to admit it. He wanted to sleep, he wanted to eat, he wanted to go out in the sun with the woman he loved and show her off to the world. He wanted to be happy again and he was so not happy.

Tony must have fallen asleep because when he wakes up he's shaking uncontrollably and a scream was tearing itself from his throat and Pepper was there holding him and _no that's not right I should be holding you _and his stomach was burning with hunger and his heart was beating oh so fast.

Tony tipped his head back and _breathed, _and he thought he saw Agent Barton's face again, looking down at him with a concerned look in his eyes and yes he did because Clint was still there looking at him, his face formed into a question.

_Are you okay?_

Tony shook his head slowly.

_No, no I am not okay. _

**XxXxXxX**

Later that day, when Pepper has gone down to the office to pick up some files and Tony has seated himself on the couch in the living room he hears a sound coming from the bar. A few seconds later, Clint is climbing down through the air vent covered from head to foot in dust and dirt and is walking over to him and seating himself down in the spot next to him.

Tony doesn't see this, because he is completely exhausted, his body is giving up on him, instead he is lying back on the couch with his eyes closed and while he can't see Clint climbing down through the vent and sitting next to him, he knows its just happened.

He doesn't even have the energy to tell him off for getting his couch dirty.

A cool hand is on his forehead and fingers are pressing down on the pulse point in his wrist. He's been playing with the stone Hela gave him and it's resting where he left it on his stomach. He feels Clint pick it up to examine it, then there is the sensation of the couch cushion re-inflating after Clint stands up and a few moments later he's back and is supporting Tony, tipping water down his throat and feeding him tiny _tiny _bits of cheese and crackers.

About ten minutes later, Tony feels a little stronger and can open his eyes to look at Clint whose eyes, like his own, are ringed with black from no sleep and whose skin is white and pale. He's lost weight too, not as much as Tony has, but Tony recognises the shirt he's wearing and it never used to hang so loosely on him. He is also lightly tapping the stone Hela gave him and is examining it carefully with tired eyes. Clint uncurls Tony's fingers and places the stone in his hand, then feels his forehead and checks his pulse again.

'You've lost weight, buddy,' Clint said, and hisvoice sounds like it hasn't been used in the entire_ month _they'd been avoiding each other, old and broken and rusty.

'Right back at you,' Tony replied. He tried to get himself into a seating position so he can carry on eating the cheese and crackers but he can't, he's not strong enough and Clint has to support him so he can eat something.

'I'm sorry,' Clint says quietly as Tony breaks the food into smaller pieces.

'For what?' Tony asks, forcing his body to ignore how hungry it is and eating the pieces slowly one by one so he doesn't throw it up immediately afterwards.

'I didn't know, I didn't know how… how…' Clint can't seem to find the words; he's staring at Tony's chest where he can see his friend's ribs through his t-shirt, the Arc Reactor more prominent than usual.

Clint's head dropped and his gaze fell to the floor. 'I should have tried to help you,' he said after a pause.

'And done what?' Tony asked. 'I don't know what Tha… what the blue-guy-who-shall-not-be-named did to me but you're not a dietician, featherbrain; you can't just snap your fingers and fix me.'

Clint can't help but smile at the name-calling because it's clearly a sign that there is still a spark of Tony in there; that his friend hasn't given up yet.

'What does this do?' he asks, holding up the stone and dangling it in front of Tony's face.

'Hela gave it to me,' Tony explains. 'If I need to contact her.'

'Do it,' Clint said immediately, thrusting it at him. 'You need to eat, you're wasting away, I can almost see your skull under your skin, it's disgusting, get Hela over here.'

'That's just charming,' Tony mutters, but he agrees and he rubs the pendant in his palm.

It takes little under an hour, but Hela appears in their living room and looks around her.

'Nice place,' she concludes after a while, then sighs when she sees the two men in front of her.

'What happened?' she asks, and then sits down to listen as Tony tells her how he can't sleep or eat and Clint explains what happened to their teammates, Natasha always jumpy, Steve not being able to look at a reflection anymore.

Hela gets Tony to lie back on the couch so she can examine his stomach. She pulls the material of his top up and presses her fingers across his stomach; she finds a particular area of skin and pushes down, hard.

Tony screams.

Hela wastes no time in muttering a sleeping spell under her breath and the next second Tony is fast asleep on the cushions and Hela is using a knife to dig under his skin, Clint with one hand on the gun strapped to his leg in case she tries anything. He doesn't think she will, she may be Loki's daughter but she saved them, he owes her a debt. But still, you never know, and Tony had properly _screamed._

Natasha bursts in a few seconds later, eyes wide, hair ruffled, gun pointing straight at Hela's head.

It doesn't look good for Hela, who is pulling something out from just under the surface of Tony's skin, but Clint jumps up and explains and manages to calm her down. Steve appears moments later drawn, like Natasha, to Tony's scream and soon Bruce is there as well, breathing hard, his hands clenched into fists as he tries to stop the Other Guy from making a mess of the place. It's been so long that Hulk has tried to take over that Bruce wasn't ready and he nearly succeeded, until JARVIS had told them that it was simply Hela trying to help. Clearly, Steve and Natasha had legged it before JARVIS had a chance to tell them that everything was fine.

Hela examines the small object she's pulled from Tony's skin as she lazily runs her finger along the tiny incision she made in his stomach. The skin repairs itself and appears good as new in seconds, there isn't even a scar and Clint gently wipes the blood off Tony's skin with a clean cloth handed to him by one of the smaller bots, who had appeared armed with a blowtorch when Tony had yelled and had been sent to get the first aid kit by Clint while they were waiting for Bruce to join them, because of _course _he would join them. It was Bruce, Tony's BFF.

Tony was beginning to come round while Hela was examining the object and he glared at the Goddess of Death for her assault on his stomach, she smiled sweetly at him and waved the object under his nose. To the Avengers, it looked like a plant.

'This is a leaf from a plant that is very hard to get hold of,' she explained. 'It only grows on Alfhiem, the land of the Light Elves and if it is ingested, it will kill you in seconds, it drains the life from your body. However, if a spell is put on it and it is placed under the skin then it will keep you alive, but make you suffer in torment for the rest of your life. You are human, so by putting it in your stomach Thanos made sure that while you could ingest just enough food to keep you alive, you would never be strong and healthy, you would become a shadow of your former self.'

The entire team flinched at Thanos' name and Hela noticed it with a frown.

'So… can I eat stuff now?' Tony asked, unsure about this.

'I see no reason why not,' Hela replied, and handed him an apple from the fruit bowl on the table.

That apple vanished in seconds and Tony was on his third banana when he was agreed that removal of the leaf was successful and he could eat now.

**XxXxXxX**

When Pepper returns from work that evening, she finds all five Avengers (with the exception of Thor who is still on Asgard) in the living room watching a film. She stands in the doorway watching them all. Natasha is constantly looking around her, one hand on her gun, so she spots Tony's girlfriend immediately, but she smiles at her. Steve is deliberately looking at his reflection in a mirror. While Hela was there he opened up to her and told her that Thanos had tortured him mentally by showing him Peggy's soul trapped in a mirror, banging on the glass and begging him for help. On returning to Earth, Steve was terrified that if he looked in a mirror he would see her face with tears down her cheeks staring at him with horrified eyes filled with betrayal. Hela had assured him that Peggy's spirit was safe and that Thanos didn't have her soul, and was making him look into a mirror to prove it.

Clint was sat by Tony who had fallen asleep in his stretched-out position on the sofa, one hand protectively clasped around his teammate's arm as he slept. And, much to Pepper's relief, Tony actually looked _asleep. _The frown he usually wore on his face when he slept was gone, and his whole body looked relaxed rather than the tension she could feel in his muscles recently. Bruce was sat down on the floor and had his teammate's vitals flashing cheerfully on Tony's tablet in front of him. All green, all okay.

Pepper couldn't help it; she found her feet moving of their own accord to sit next to Tony and lift his hand from his stomach, squeezing it tightly. Bruce, Steve, Natasha and Clint pointedly looked at the screen to give them their moment, and Tony's eyes flickered briefly when his unconscious brain sensed that his girlfriend's perfume was nearby, but Pepper gently ran her fingers through his hair to keep him asleep.

That night, when it was Tony who had Pepper in his arms and a stomach full of her leftover beef stew, Pepper felt like the world had been lifted from her shoulders. They were all safe, all recovering. Hela had got them to open up and talk to each other and now maybe, hopefully, things would start to go back to normal.

Well, what was normal for them anyway.

'Stop thinking,' Tony mumbled sleepily. 'It's very loud.'

'Go back to sleep,' Pepper said, kissing his forehead.

He was out like a light in seconds.

* * *

_Please review! I love you all :) _


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